Thursday, 02 July 2009

Junior is here


1036 am GMT 3520 grammes (I think approx 7lb12oz) Seems very long (too long for newborn sleepsuit) but they don't measure length here Does not look much like Pob did although same colouring Long fingers and lovely nails Lots of dark hair although v high forehead Does not like being moved. When he is settled he'd like to stay there, wherever it is, thank you very much. Currently crashed out and not interested in feeding, having done about 2 hours on the boob once we were in recovery. He is gorgeous.

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Tuesday, 30 June 2009

Junior - 48 hours to go

I have three big posts I want to write, but I'm lying on my side trying not to moan too much from the haemorrhoid pain. I had really not appreciated before how agonising they were, but I think the minor experiences I have had were in a different place. These are, well, not. I'll spare you the fine details and since this is pretty much the only bad thing that's happened so far in this pregnancy, I cannot complain. But it hurts!

Today is my 'get prepped' day where I am going to get my legs (and other bits) waxed, hair done, pedicure etc. I am trying to recreate my last day pre-Pob where I had a lovely wander and felt all relaxed and happy. But I can't walk without wincing, it's deeply, unpleasantly hot in London (and in general the London buildings either aren't air conditioned, or have a hard time coping with this temperature), and I'm a bit stressed about the amount of stuff we have to do before turning up at the hospital at 7am on Thursday. Yes, we have a scheduled section. Although Junior turned out to be head down at the scan last week (having been head up at every other previous scan), my doctor was pretty clear that he was very unwilling to risk a VBAC given my age and the fibroids, and I didn't put up much of a fight. I did stretch his comfort zone to 39+1 rather than 38+1, but that was as far as he was prepared to go, and only then based on a good scan report last week that showed a grade 1 placenta and a baby following the growth curve, not to mention the lack of any oedema and my consistently fantastically low blood pressure (90/60 at most readings).

So we're on to meet Junior just under 24 hours from now.  I really don't feel ready, and goodness knows the house isn't ready - we had builders here until 2 weeks ago, we haven't yet decided on curtain fabric for Junior's room (not that he'll be sleeping in there for a while), let alone having any furtniture for him other than a chest of drawers, we can't find the one fan we have in the house, there are piles of ironing in the laundry room that are scaring me. But I have a stockpile of domperidone, I'm about to call Medela to order the breast pump, the cradle in our room has sheets on, and our nanny is booked to come in early on Thursday so that we can head off to the hospital. It is happening, whether we are ready or not.

The two more meaty topics I want to write, not sure if I'll be able to:

  • Circumcision. It feels like a barbaric thing to do to a child. It is also a critical component of being jewish, however, and I don't want to rule out him deciding he wants to be observant - or making him feel that he can never be properly Jewish. I feel hypocritical in that we are not very observant, but part of me wants to keep this particular observance. H is vehemently against although understands its importance to religious identity. I don't know what to do. And I've read the stuff that says the baby doesn't cry etc., but I've also read the stuff that says that babies get a huge cortisol surge when it happens and often fall into a semi-coma. There is no doubt in my mind that it is traumatic, the health benefits are not there, and it will have long lasting effects. Help
  • Breastfeeding. I'm pretty sure my experience will be closer to motel manager's than Kath's in terms of the second baby being better at it. That is, that we will still have a supply issue no matter how good he is at sucking. I just don't know if I should wait to start the domperidone or just start taking it straight away after the birth. Thoughts?

I'm off to see how painful having a shower will be. Will update from the hospital if not before.


Thursday, 11 June 2009

Colourful Pob

We've been talking to Pob about colours for a while. Just when I think she's getting it she indicates that it's all pretty random. If she's asked what colour something is, she tends to say: "BLUE!" or alternatively "Pink-purple". If she's told no it's not, she rotates through other colours, usually 'ello', 'orange' 'een' in that order.

Last night I asked her what colour her pyjamas were. They're checked, white and red. She said 'BLUE!' and I said no they were red, and she pointed at the white bit and said, "No!" Which indicated that she had at least some clue. So I told her it was like Elmer, but with fewer colours. Elmer is checked red, purple, black white, orange, yellow, pink, green and blue, and her pyjamas are checked red and white. We left it at that.

This morning we were talking about her blocks. I asked her what colour a block was and she said 'orange!' which it was. So I asked her what colour her pyjamas were, and she said 'Elmer!'

She may be colour blind, but she makes connections....

Wednesday, 10 June 2009

General incompetence

I've reached the awkward, tiring, uncomfortable stage of pregnancy. And indeed the stage of general incompetence. I can't remember words. I'm so bunged up that I can't breathe by about 5am and so wake up and cant' go back to sleep. I'm exhausted in the evenings and can't make conversation with H. And, oh yes, I fell flat on my face while simply walking along the pavement on Sunday, and now have an impressive scar running down my nose, and another on my chin, which makes me look like a very depressing kind of victim. I can see people eyeing me up and not wanting to say anything, but it's a bloody great scar, particularly on the bridge of my nose, so it's pretty hard to avoid.

It was an odd accident. We were walking along the South Bank to meet some friends. H was wheeling Pob in her pushchair. She was crying for some reason we couldn't quite understand. There were quite a few people around, but it's a wide space and so not that crowded. I felt myself trip. I wasn't that worried. It all happened in slow motion.

Moment 1: It's the kind of trip you correct easily with a little skip, and keep going.
Moment 2: Oh dear, I'm still falling. Ah well, if I just move like this I'll be upright again in a second
Moment 3: Nope, still falling
Moment 4: Well, I'll just land on my knees here and that will be that
Moment 5: Nope, still going down, what's WRONG with me?
Moment 6: Well, how did my face get there. Ooops, there go my sunglasses. And why is that packet of tissues in my hand?

It must have looked quite dramatic as two police on patrol came over to check on me. I got straight up. Of course Pob was screaming at this point, so I got H to get her out of her pushchair and hand her to me. I felt very shaken but ok. My glasses were trashed. I carried Pob into Tate Modern, met our friends, and took a few minutes to stop feeling wobbly. It was only later when I went to the loo that I realised I looked pretty dodgy, and the following day as the scars formed I looked even worse.

I then started to notice I was wobbly at other times. On the escalator on Monday when I went to hitch up my crappy maternity jeans that always fall down. Getting out of a taxi yesterday. Walking up the stairs into a hotel. I'm no longer a competent walker. Or stander. That's not very impressive, surely?

Wednesday, 27 May 2009

Ok I've watched it now.

Kris. Seriously, Kris? 100 million people and you get Kris? Someone please explain.

Wednesday, 20 May 2009

Predicting pregnancy outcomes

My medscape subscription just offered up an article on predicting pregnancy outcomes, and I want to copy it and stick it up on the front page of every community board where someone is posting "no heartbeat at 7w does this pregnancy have a chance?" and getting lots of responses like - "Don't give up hope honey, I know someone who never saw a heartbeat and her son is now 4!!!"

The article says that three factors correlate to successful pregnancy outcomes. All factors can be measured by dildocam at between 33 and 36 days post-conception, or 6w5d - 7w1d. The three factors are fetal cardiac activity, yolk sac between 2 and 6mm and gestational sac diameter of 12mm or above. Importantly, "These markers were associated with favorable pregnancy outcome even in the poor prognostic subgroups of women of advanced maternal age and those with recurrent pregnancy loss." For women with recurrent miscarriage, 94% of pregnancies with these three markers resulted in take-home babies. For the over 40s, it was 82%. I know that's still a big grey area, but it's not a bad step in the right direction.

We all sort of knew this, but good to have it confirmed by 1092 pregnancies.

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

Just bug me enough, and I'll write. The question is, is it worth it?

I'm not looking up how long it's been, but someone emailed and said it had been a month, so that's probably right. There is nothing wrong, I am just completely washed out with work, which has stretched into a 730-midnight kind of thing, with (most days) 30 minutes to get Pob up in the morning and an hour or so to put her to bed at night. And weekend work too, and pretty much anytime I'm sitting still not with Pob, I'm working. It's getting really old and I'm very tired, but I don't think it will let up much until I go down to 50% the week of 15 June, and stop completely the week after.

To compound my stress, the builders who are doing our bedroom and bathroom are (of course) taking much longer than planned, so we're sleeping in the attic which is 6 long flights of stairs up from where we spend most of our time, which at 7.5 months pregnant is really no fun. Plus everything is in boxes, and the boxes and everything else is covered in dust, and I want to get stuff organised for Junior but there is no space to do it. So actually I think we are considerably less prepared for Junior than we were for Pob. Poor old Junior.

We also have no name for him, which is starting to worry me a bit. I like slightly avant garde names, but H doesn't, plus Pob's names have real meaning for our families so I feel there is a high bar that we need to meet for him, too. Our shortlist is currently very uninspiring, and I feel a bit stuck about the whole thing.

Of course this is nothing to those still in the trenches. I am not meaning to whine, I'm just being descriptive. Pob is doing lots of cool stuff, including her first three-word sentence a few weeks ago - comprised grammatically correctly of subject/verb/object. When I approached her to help her with a bowl of yogurt which was proving too much for her relatively new self-feeding skills, I went to take the spoon away from her. She pushed my hand away. "[Pob} hold it!" She said. So she kept hold of the spoon and I guided her hand to make things easier. Various other things not to forget about this stage:

  • Nighttime routine still working ok, but increasingly she is taking ages to settle once we put her down - up to an hour of chatting, alternating with throwing everything out of the crib and then crying inconsolably for her dummy/teddy until we go and rescue her. Part of this I think is that she really suffers with her teeth - she has been getting the first set of four molars for the last 2 months. One is pretty much through, two are peeking, and one is still under the surface after all this time. But I'm not sure pain from teeth is enough to explain the lack of settling
  • Waking up earlier in the mornings. I think this is the light. We are about to experiment with blackout blinds. Currently we lie in bed and listen to "Hello! Teddy! Park! Up up up up! Park! Hello! Mummy mummy mummy! Daddy daddy! Granny Granny granny! Outside! Morning!" for about 30 minutes before she gets really fed up and starts whinging
  • She did her first pee on the potty after her bath a few days ago. A bit of a fluke, she hasn't done it again, but she's very interested and forces us to read the inane potty books I bought her at every available opportunity
  • We have spoken to her about a baby brother, and she has various books about new babies, but I don't think she gets even a little tiny bit what it will mean for her
  • She loves loves loves doggies, and her favourite treat is to be taken out on her trike so that she is at their level and can get licked all over when they find her
  • She is not interested in dolls particularly, but loves her soft toys with a passion
  • When she says 'yes' she shakes her whole body to emphasise its importance
  • I can see her get tense with fury as she cries when she can't do something she wants to do, but it seems to pass relatively quickly
  • When she wants us to do something she reaches for our hands and pulls us along until we are where she wants us to be. Sometimes this means just walking around the kitchen/playroom for a while, a little stroll together. 
  • She adores the teletubbies, and asks to watch them frequently. Less frequently we give in.
  • She loves some of her local friends, when she sees them she runs around holding hands with them and giggling, offering lots of kisses and chatting away in their own toddlerese. And sometimes pushing them over and snatching their toys away, too.
  • She loves apples and will eat a whole one, including the core, given the chance. Just like mummy.
  • She has just discovered cake and now asks for it regularly
  • She is not allergic to eggs in cake, biscuits and french toast, but still has a reaction to scrambled egg. 
  • There seems to be little limit on what she will eat
  • She has started to get the hang of hiding to play hide and seek, but can't bear to stay hidden for too long and always reveals herself as soon as we ask ' Where's Pob?'
  • I don't spend enough time with her

Got to get back to work. I'm fine, I'm just really really tired.


Saturday, 18 April 2009

All fine

Thanks to those of you who checked in via email. I can't remember how long it is since I posted, and I'm not going to look now, but I'm sure it's ages. It's been a terribly busy time. Pob and I were in Florida, then I came back to lots of urgent work, then had to go to Vegas for a week for work without Pob, which was really really tough, then came back to a clingy Pob and even more work, and have been working mostly til midnight each night with no down time during the day other than the 45 minutes I see Pob for in the morning, and the hour or so in the evening before I start work again. The week after next I'm off to Austria, to run the training course where I usually take Pob, but this time no one could come with me so I'm leaving her again. Which I don't like to think about. And this weekend H is away riding his motorbike, so no respite for me.

It probably sounds worse than it is, but it's not so awful. Junior seems to be doing ok, although he's having a quiet day today which makes me nervous. I think he is generally less busy in there than Pob was, but hard to tell if that's poor remembering, or just that I've been too busy to notice. We did end up in Labour and Delivery for a check last weekend as I had some gastric bug and had been vomiting for 24 hours, so they told us to come in for a check. Because it was Easter weekend, the place was understaffed but was having several emergencies, so we waited quite a long time, which was no bad thing as I just slept. Eventually they gave me some fluids, a shot of compazine and gave me some more to take home, and that was that. I had a good night's sleep and felt a lot better the next day. No drama really.

Will write something more interesting soon. Pob is continuing to talk up a storm, but is also doing a lovely line in tantrums and screaming. I guess it's just normal development but it's fairly wearing at times.

Monday, 23 March 2009

All work and no play

Tempted into starting a post by listening to the WXPN feed and hearing that 76 is blocked up from University ave to the Conshohocken curve, and remembering sitting in that traffic...

Last week was a bit of a killer on the work front, and I'm barely recovered despite H sending me to bed early three nights in a row, and taking a nap both Saturday and Sunday afternoons while Pob was sleeping. She's only just given up her morning nap, and consequently is definitely ready for a long sleep after lunch.

She turned 18 months on Friday, and we can see the huge change in her approach to the world as she becomes more and more her own person. No longer can we get her to do little tasks for us - she just grins and says 'No' and runs the other way. These used to be things like taking junk mail to the recycling bin, or fetching her slippers so we could help her put them on, or returning a book to the shelves and fetching a new one. Oh well, it had to come. The one task she will still do is taking a plate to the dishwasher, as she loves exploring what's in there. She also enjoys 'helping' unpack it, and gets very cross if we get too far ahead of her in the process.

Her language has also taken another leap. Lots more words, but more that she is now putting them together to tell us something more interesting. For example, "baby sleep" (pointing to a picture in a book)," "more apple/cheese/peas," when eating, and even a little story when I went in to see her because she wasn't settling on Friday night. I had been stuck on a conference call for all of bedtime, but when I finished she was loudly complaining (not crying, just exclaiming) about being in her cot. So I went in, and she immediately stood up and demanded a cuddle. I gave in, and as we sat down together in the rocking chair, she explained to me, "Daddy night-night [sound of kiss being blown]." "Did Daddy say good night and blow you a kiss?" I asked, "Yes," I was told. I don't think these really classify as sentences yet, but it makes a big difference in us understanding what she really means. This doesn't stop her from getting very cross, whiny and tantrum-y if we don't understand what she wants or won't give it to her, but I'm hoping that as it progresses, it will get easier for us all as we communicate more effectively together.

I've heard from many people about toddlers being picky about food, but Pob is pretty much the opposite. Yes there are a couple of things she's not keen on - potato in particular, and non-strongly flavoured pasta sauces, and too-strong cheese, but apart from that she wants to eat whatever anyone else is eating, and won't stop until she gets it. At the park yesterday this was amusing but slightly embarassing as she walked up to any child with a snack and tried to take it from them. Or just stare at them until they handed it over. This ploy didn't work with a little French boy who shouted loudly at Pob when she tried to come near his banana, so she retreated to a safe distance and kept looking at him while he ate the whole thing, all the while repeating over and over to herself,and partly to him I imagine, "nana, nana, nana". Not sure what we should do about this, if anything? I'm glad she's so open to food and enjoys a wide range of tastes, but the demanding she shares anything she sees someone else eating seems a bit much.

We tried her on egg over the weekend. She's now had half of one of my oatmeal-berry-yogurt muffins on two occasions, with no ill-effects. It's not much egg - one per 12 muffins - but it's a start. We'll keep on building her up until hopefully she can eat simply cooked eggs in a few weeks time. I hope.

She is physically fearless. We took her to a trial class at an organisation called 'little gym' on Saturday, and she threw herself into everything - large bouncy-castle type gym mat, parallel bars, the balance barre (which had hand bars either side so they could walk along safely). I thought this would tire her out but she then ran around the shopping centre where it was held for a good hour afterwards. Oh to have the energy of a toddler.

She has decided that hats are a great thing. Having thrown a fit every time my mother and I tried to get her to wear one in Florida, she is now an addict and every trip this weekend required her to be wearing her white sunhat. And preferably her wellington boots as well, which combined to make a slightly eclectic look on Saturday. Then she needed to wear her pink woolly hat when we got home, and all through supper. I didn't know a stong sense of style started so early.

Pob is going through a real 'Mummy' phase. I felt bad for H when he went in on Saturday morning to get her up and her first response was "NOOO! Mummy!" Not sure there is much we can do about it, and I'm sure it will reverse at some point. This worries me at bit given I'm gone for a whole week from Sunday. It's the longest I've left her, and I'm not at all excited about it. Perhaps when I'm not there she'll accept Daddy as a substitute more easily.

***

Junior (Sib didn't stick so we are back to the unoriginal) seems to be doing well. I had a scan on Wednesday to check placental blood flow to see if I can come off clexane, and all looked good. Great blood flow and a baby with a big head and short legs, just like Pob, poor thing. He is moving around a lot, particularly after I eat something, but so far I am not very uncomfortable, even in bed at night, which is a relief. We'll see how long it lasts.


24w5d

Monday, 16 March 2009

Sad news

The work colleague I mentioned a few weeks ago, whose twins were showing signs of Twin to Twin syndrome, had laser surgery to try to correct the problem. Six days later she went into labour and delivered her twins at 19 weeks. They lived in the world briefly, then died. She is understandably devastated. I've said the usual things but they feel so useless, don't they?

I updated because several of you asked. I wish it was better news. Thank you for thinking of her.

You are not alone


Journeying for the second time


On their way


Been there, done that


Didn't need to go there


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Links


  • Alltop. I don't know how I got there either.

  • Thalias fertility journey at Blogged

  • Working Parent Blog Directory